The heart is called Yi [unified power] becuz when intent moves, spirit is agitated; qi is dispersed. Qi is the Mother of spirit; Spirit is the child of qi. The Mother as qi is the horse that guides/conducts the river chariot (yin spirit) in the water (yin jing). Once your mind is away from the lower Elixir Field, your Qi will be led away from it and be consumed. By gathering the Shen into the lower tan tien then the Qi follows it there. Light of eyes descend as Yang fire inner yin qi line
Does Yuval Noah Harari have a degree in conservation biology and evolution? Why does he thinks AI is evolution? The only explanation is the need for even more delusion to cover up the obvious genocidal policies against the Palestinians. Meanwhile AI is based on a scam that is accelerating "biological annihilation" - not evolution.
I just gave away the new Tosh Plumlee book "Deep Cover, Shallow Graves" that was an excellent fast read - very riveting. That also got into the JFK assassination.
I also read Dr. Mary's Monkey - an old time Trineday book along with the older Daniel Hopsicker books on CIA drug smuggling connected to false flag operations (9/11).
I had several of the above books stolen - and thus was not able to read them and so repurchased them recently - hence this photo to record what I purchased. Luckily Trineday had my previous purchases on record but when I reordered - I looked for used books to save money.
So another prominent Trineday author is Nick Bryant....The Franklin Scandal. He has a new book out on Watergate. Personally I think the fact that Drumpf was a regular abuser at Epstein's NYC mansion should have been the focus of Whitney Webb's two-volume Epstein series - along with Nick Bryant's work. Instead we got a child rapist as "leader of the free world."
Same with that St. John Hunt book that I have not read yet - he says Roger Stone hired him as a writer yet we know the shenanigans of Roger Stone. That is a problem with conspiracy researchers - they tend to get tied up into their research material. Daniel Hopsicker apparently shacked up with the wife of Barry Seal?! Wow....
I corresponded with Daniel Hopsicker a couple times just because he had to mail all his books to me personally along with his DVDs that I ordered...
Also there is that hippy Paul Krassner Oh I get him confused with Steven Hager’s book The Octopus Conspiracy
https://www.ipgbook.com/trine-day-publisher-TRD.php
I was going through their distributor website....
Steve Hager told me via email that he never received any money from his book - meaning, apparently, his sales never covered the cost of the printing.
Kris, the owner of Trineday, says he just out of debt due to the smash hit success of the Whitney Webb 2 volume Epstein books. So when he re-offered to publish my submission I declined because why should he print books that very few people would read? Even Noam Chomsky told me that very few people read his books.
that's another old skool Trineday book that used to have a very popular blog! Kind of ironic - I posted a few comments on that blog.
| Phase | Time Period | Material & Style |
|---|---|---|
| Proto-Sinaitic / Proto-Canaanite | ~1800–1200 BCE | Pictographic shapes scratched on stone walls by miners and workers. |
| Paleo-Hebrew | ~1200–586 BCE | Standardized, angular script carved on seals, pottery, and monuments like the Siloam Inscription. |
| Aramaic / Square Script | ~500 BCE–Present | Geometric, abstract block characters adopted after the Babylonian Exile. |
ROM PROTO-HEBREW TO MISHNAIC HEBREW: THE HISTORY OF '1- AND rt-
Snakes (Serpents) In the Holy Bible
The serpent was a symbol of evil power and chaos from
the underworld as well as a symbol of fertility, life and healing
This Jerusalem Proto-Canaanite inscription precedes the development of the Paleo-Hebrew script, which was used by the Israelites until the Babylonians destroyed the First Temple in 586 B.C.E.
When the Judean exiles returned from Babylon, they brought back the square Aramaic script, which ultimately replaced the Paleo-Hebrew script. Both the Paleo-Hebrew and the square Aramaic scripts, however, were used together for hundreds of years.
Proto-Canaanite Jerusalem inscription dates to a time before the direction of letters (whether they were read right to left or left to right) had been firmly determined and before a distinction between Hebrew, Aramaic and Phoenician had been established. Eilat Mazar has tentatively dated the wall in which the inscribed jar was found to the 10th century B.C.E.
First Temple period clay potsherds bearing inscriptions. During the First Temple period (c. 1000 to 586 B.C.E., when the Babylonians destroyed Jerusalem and razed the Temple), the Israelites often kept administrative and military records by writing on broken pottery pieces—known as ostraca—with ink. The Paleo-Hebrew script was used by the Israelites during this time.
https://alephtavproject.com/stone-to-script
likely developed by Semitic-speaking workers influenced by Egyptian hieroglyphics. These simple pictographs worked on a clever principle: the picture of an ox head made the “ah” sound because the word for ox (“aleph”) started with that sound. Each letter was named after the picture it resembled, and the first sound of that name became the letter’s sound. Linguists call this principle “acrophony” (a fancy way of saying “the picture’s name gives you the sound”).
The Dead Sea Scrolls provide fascinating evidence of this transition: some scrolls use the older Paleo-Hebrew specifically when writing the divine name YHWH, as if the scribes felt the ancient letters were more fitting for God’s name.
"charles william dailey" Ph.D. on Serpent kundalini cross-cultural yt talk
He promotes the Arktos creepy far-right fascist book publishing website...
Clement does add a description that tells us more about who this Philo might be. He is twice called "the Pythagorean". This epithet is used of Philo in only one other ancient source, namely the historian Sozomen, who informs us that according to "Philo the Pythagorean" the best of the Hebrews retired to Lake Mareotis and practised philosophy there... the epithet "Pythagorean" which Clement attaches to Philo is unexpected. ...Clement calls various people "the Pythagorean" if, as he thinks
were members of the ancient Pythagorean school, e.g. Philolaus,
Epicharmus, Athamas, Hippodamus, and so on.3' On two occasions
Clement calls Numa, King of Rome, a "Pythagorean...ne. The secrecy is Pythagorean
but by the increased speed of time increasing the stellar object’s apparent frequency. …The
apparent increase in recessional speed (acceleration) between the Cosmic Microwave Background (CMB) very near the beginning of our Universe (at about 380,000 “years” after our Universes’ beginning), of 6.75 ± 0.05 × 104 m/s per Mpc [18] and [19] to those of the Cepheid Variables (atabout 163,000 light years distant, of 7.4 ± 1.5 × 104 m/s per Mpc (Table 5 of [18]) is simply due to the possibly high speed of time back then at the “time” of the CMB. The Doppler-determined speed would be less than the true higher recessional CMB speed (producing a deceleration when compared to the Cepheid Variables speed) and agrees with a slowing due to gravity! NO DARK ENERGY NEED BE INVENTED!”
This is actually a noncommutative cosmology.
The Journal of Modern Physics (published by Scientific Research Publishing, or SCIRP) is widely considered by the academic community to be a low-quality, pay-to-publish open-access vanity publication with questionable peer-review standards
Detection and Determination of the Variation of the Speed of Time
Here is the transcript of "Katie Johnson's" (not her real name) account of how 48-year-old Donald Trump savagely raped her when she was a 13-year-old virgin in 1994 at Jeffrey Epstein's "Les Wexner" mansion in NYC.
The major media have all heard this interview and all of them have INTENTIONALLY decided not to put it on national TV or national radio for their viewers and listeners. That means ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, CNN, PBS, NPR, MSNBC (now MSNOW) and all the big media platforms refuse to put this out there. NYT, Wash Post, Wall Street Journal and all the major print media refuse to publish this transcript or talk about on their media platforms.
ABC and CNN to this day have taped interviews of Katie Johnson from fall, 2016 that they have been sitting on for 9 years and refusing to show their national audiences.
In 2016 I read the Katie Johnson lawsuit against Trump and I also her interview. I found her to be extremely credible. I knew about this story fairly early because I know some of the top reporters in the world on Jeffrey Epstein. Because in 2016 I found the Katie Johnson story to be extremely credible, I did this while I was the Chairman of the Travis County Republican Party (where Austin is): #NeverTrump Travis County GOP Chair Accuses Trump of Child Rape
The following is what the MAJOR MEDIA KNOWS ALL ABOUT and REFUSES TO TELL YOU ABOUT.
FOX News likes to say "We report and you decide." Well, Trump organ FOX sure is not publishing this. The New York Times says that it publishes "All the News that is Fit to Print." I guess a president savagely raping a 13 year old girl does not meet their standards. The Washington Post likes to crow "Democracy Dies in the Darkness" and the Wash Post for 9 years has gone jet black dark on the Katie Johnson Donald Trump child rape allegations.
In particular notice below when Donald J. Trump is sexually abusing a 12 year old girl Maria and then he is threatening to call immigration on her because she is not performing up to his child molestation standards.
Katie Johnson, age 35 in 2016, tells how 48 year old Donald Trump savagely raped her when she was a 13 year old virgin in 1994 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmAeOfl6bcc The photo of the girl is NOT her; the real Katie Johnson has BROWN EYES.
TRANSCRIPT PARTICIPANTS:
I: Interviewer
K: Katie Johnson
TRANSCRIPT:
K: I came to this interview on my free will. No, there was nothing promised to me for doing this interview.
I: Excellent.
K: Yes, everything that I say at this interview will be the truth. Um, I met Donald Trump, um, at some parties I attend, um, that I was working, um, for Mr. Jeffrey Epstein. Um, there was about three or four times that I um, had encounters with Donald Trump. I was 13. The first time that I met Donald Trump, um, was at uh, a party at Jeffrey Epstein’s um, mansion. Uh, we were...he was...there was a, um, an orgy going on and he was kind of watching out from a distance. Um, and…and he basically asked um…if I could come over and give him, um, give him a hand job and at first, I wasn’t very comfortable with it. This was like my first or second…you know, first party and I didn’t, you know, I didn’t think that that was my responsibility. Uh, but my recruiter told me that I needed to do it. Um, so, I agreed to and um, then, he…you know, I said…again did… [clears throat] Sorry, this is um, a little difficult. But, um, before I gave him a hand job, he kinda slapped my hand away and said, um, “You need to use a glove” and the recruiter ran over and handed me a glove and said, “No one touches Mr. Trump’s penis without a glove.” So, I needed to use a glove. I, um, gave him a hand job and then, um, immediately after, you know, he had an orgasm. He left and I didn’t see him again at that party.
Jeffrey Epstein, um, is a billionaire friend of Donald Trump’s that um, was responsible for throwing the sex parties. Um, there was…I originally, um, came to New York trying to be a model and um, in my travels, I met a girl named Tiffany there, um, who um, was very interested in me and said that, you know, she…that’s what she did is that she helped girls, you know, get what they wanted and…and she could help me get in…get into modeling, that she knew a lot of, um, people that were…that were higher ups and that it would be no problem. Um, and so, that’s why…and she…but I would just basically have to come model, um, at a couple of events and meet some people, it would be no sweat. So, um, of course I want and it sounded like no big deal, um, and she was recruiting the girls to come to these parties. Um, and they all looked…I mean most of them were, you know, my age. There was, you know, maybe a couple of girls that were maybe 14 or 15, but it seemed to me like we were all very young. So.
I: Okay.
K: Um, Jeffrey Epstein knew that I was um, 13 years old. Um, when he interviewed me, um, he asked me to get um, down to my bra and my…just my panties and I thought that was weird, but I mean, modeling maybe it was something about my figure. Um, and he asked that I give him a massage. So, he…and then he asked me my age. He asked me and I told him, you know, told him that I was 13. I told him why I was there. Um, and he basically said, well you’ll do. You know, I’m sure that you’ll…you’ll fit pretty nicely here and then he tried to, uh, basically um, slip himself inside of me and I pushed him away and I said, you know, I’m…I’m…because at that point in time, I still believed that there was models and then there was the girls that did that, like I thought there was a separation. So, um, you know, I told him that I wasn’t interested in that, but he said that I would do, um, and as far as Donald Trump, um, he knew that I was 13 and I believe that Tiffany told him, he seemed to take a liking to me because I was [clears throat] I was so young, um, and um, I was also a virgin, so I don’t know. He’s…he seemed like he wasn’t really into having um, having girls that were liked by the other guys. He kind of, you know, the whole glove. He kind of liked things to be his first, you know, if that…for lack of, you know, a better term. But, he was the one who wanted to um, get to…get to a girl before everyone else did.
Donald Trump knew that I was 13, um, because the first night that I was there, Tiffany actually suggested that and she had a whole bunch of different wigs and I expressed interest in them and I always her that I would love to walk around with blue hair. And so, I tried some on and um, there was a blond wig that she said that looked great on me. So, I wore that wig, um, and Donald Trump had specifically asked about me because I remind him of his daughter and she said, well she’s 13 as well. So, he knew the first time that he saw me, but he took a liking to me because I looked like his daughter.
The reason I’m coming out now, um, is when it happened originally, I just wanted to forget about the whole incident. Uh, and when I saw that he was running for president, um, I felt it was my responsibility to come out and tell our country, um, what kind of man this person is. Um, I don’t think that he should even be the dog catcher, let alone running, uh, the greatest country in the world.
After I met Tiffany at the bus station, um, she took me to…basically went to her house, her apartment and got ready. Um, I put on a blond wig because it seemed fun to pretend to be someone different, but uh, we went to the party that I was basically entering… interviewing for and Jeffrey Epstein was the one that was running the party. Um, he had a quick meeting with everyone that was um, employed there and then, um, he had um, a private interview with me. The first time that I met Jeffrey Epstein, um, he did try to force himself, um, inside of me without getting the go ahead or anything, um, and then, um, on the…it was probably about the third or fourth party, is when um, he basically um…uh…forced…it was another massage and it was basically like it wasn’t sex, um, but it was…there was penetration and I told him that I didn’t want that, but um, he kind of got a little irritated. So, I don’t know, there was something about him that um… [sighs] I guess I kind of um, held him, uh, like I held a lot of resentment towards him. By that time that that happened, I kind of already started catching on that maybe I wasn’t there for modeling and maybe I was just getting used for things and I felt that, kind of held him responsible.
Um, I did receive money to go to these parties out there every, um, party, um, I was paid by Mr. …Mr. Epstein. There wasn’t…out of all the girls that were there with me, I never…most of them were 13, 14. I think the oldest one might have been 16, just turned 16. I mean she’d been there for a while.
I: Okay.
K: It was actually, it was Tiffany. Um, he was…it…he was…he liked to watch other people have sex. I mean, it was must…he was a germ…didn’t like germs, so he rather than partaking, he just watches. So, um, and Tiffany had informed him that I was the virgin, um, and so, he was…I was basically, um…sorry… So, it was Tiffany who introduced us.
I: Okay.
K: Second time that I saw Mr. Trump, um, was same scenario. He was um, onlooking at an orgy and uh, Tiffany came over to me and said that Donald…Donald Trump had requested that I perform oral sex on him. Um, and never…I had never done something like that with anybody, so I was a little nervous. Um, so I walked up to him, uh, and he was standing there very proud like and I just kind of moved in that direction and he kind of slapped me away and said, “What are you doing?” You know, “You need to put a condom on” like I was some like dirty filth or something without a condom. And Tiffany ran over, um, and handed him a con…you know, handed me a condom and apologized, you know, profusely and said that would never happen again, um, that…and she looked at me and scolded me basically, like a child and said that, you know, that’s not how…you know, Donald Trump always you know…anytime you tou…you touch his penis, it needs to have a condom on or a glove, you know and especially when it comes to performing oral sex. So, um, I apologized and then um, I performed oral sex on him and once again, once he was done, he hopped up and that’s the last I saw of him at that party. It’s like, once he’s done, he’s out. So.
I: Okay.
K: Sometimes before the…some of the things that I noticed that were weird with him, was sometimes before the parties, he would come over, um, and him…Jeffrey Epstein and himself would kind of banter back and forth and he was very…uh, Donald Trump was very racist. He said a lot of racist things, like there was uh, there was a lot of comments, um, towards Mr. Epstein about you know, being Jewish. Um, and he called him a Jew bastard, you know, and said that he was cheap and there was some words I didn’t even understand, something about, um, his pe…the shape of his penis, um, being directly related to his mole or…I mean, I’m not too familiar with the Jew…you know, the Jewish tradition, so…but I’m pretty sure that whatever he was saying wasn’t very nice. Um, also, referred to, you know, um, people of Hispanic or, you know, Hispanic men and I think he called them spics. Um, was that was around the fist time that the World Trade Center had gotten bombed in the 90s. Um, and he was, you know, talking about the towel heads and how you know, we would just be better off if we, you know, didn’t let them in or, you know, basically got rid of everyone, every single one that was already here and I felt…I just…it made me really uncomfortable, really, really uncomfortable. He also loved to call black people um, niggers and he um, Arabic people, he called sand niggers.
Um, the only time that um, that he tried to give me some money was the last, our last encounter together. Um, where he acted out a rape fantasy. Um, just uh…I was forced to…I was forced to give that money back because Jeffrey Epstein paid us um, after the party. So, but he just gave me the money. I don’t even know why he gave it to me, maybe to make me feel more cheap, but it was um, it was a pretty bru…I…it was a rape fantasy to him, but I wasn’t playing, so.
There was those two times, um, and then there was, after…the next thing that was…that Tiffany approached me with was that he had a fantasy where he walked in on his maids. Um, maids basically making out and that he…it was some type of fantasy for him. So, she asked…I mean, I was at that point I was like, I don’t want to be involved with anything that has to do with him, but she was like, you were just basically the other one, so there’s nothing that you have to do, just don’t…you know, just…he wants, he’s requesting you to be involved. So, um, I reluctantly…I mean, I felt like I didn’t have a choice there. But um, it was basically, he’s walking in, his two maids…I was one of the maids. I was the white maid and there was um, a Spanish girl, um, Maria, who was the Hispanic maid. And we were making out and he walks in and he gets really angry and threatens to send…call immigration on Maria if she doesn’t come over and make things right and give him a blow job. So [clears throat] while she is over there giving him a blow job, I am just trying to…you know, I’m supposed to look scared, like oh, oh no, you know, and cleaning, trying to…cleaning of things and pretending like I’m trying to go back to my job as a maid. Um, and then he…he’s being so rude to Maria. I felt so bad for her, um, even though I guess it just didn’t seem like a fantasy, it didn’t seem like…it’s the weirdest fantasy as far as that. You know, he was threatened to…he was threatening to call immigration on her. She didn’t know how to, you know, she went to…he wasn’t even near going down to give him um, perform oral sex on him before he slapped her away and said, you know, what are you doing? You know you need to put a condom on and she’s trying to…you know, I’m so sorry and he’s like, you can’t even…can’t even understand what you’re saying, you know, and just, you know, speak English, you know. He called her derogatory um, comments. Um, and then, he’s like, “You know what? You don’t know what you’re doing. Have her come over and show you how it’s done.” And so, I, again, I said that I didn’t…you know, I had to go over there or else he was going to call immigration on Maria. I didn’t know if it was true or not, but I felt that you know, he said that if I wasn’t…if I didn’t show her how to perform oral sex on him, then he was going to, um, call immigration on her and then get rid of us both.
It was. Anything that was in relation to him getting off or being satisfied or happy having to do with him being in power, but extreme power and it’s very um…it’s very hard to even…it was always intimidating when he was like that. It was always, you didn’t really know if it was true or funny…like if you refused to play along, would he really call immigration on Maria? Would he really get rid of us both? And I didn’t even want to know what that meant. You know, I always didn’t…it wasn’t a game. [00:15:44???] it wasn’t a game.
I: Yeah.
K: The one night that I had the blond wig on, um, he had mentioned that I looked like, you know, I looked like, you know…I reminded him of his daughter. Um, [clears throat] and actually that the maid fantasy, I didn’t have a blond wig on. I was trying to stay away from blond wigs at the time, but he actually requested, told Tiffany that that’s what he wanted me to wear, like he wanted it and anytime I put it on, anytime I had it on and he’d see me, he would say, “Oh man, you look…” and it wasn’t like a, oh, you remind me of my daughter, it was this sick, evil, like, “Hmm, you remind me of my daughter.” It was just this weird pleasure, sick smile, like I…I don’t even want to know what he was thinking about. I could imagine what he was thinking about.
After the parties would end, uh, we were to report to Mr. Epstein and [clears throat] basically tell him everything that happened, uh, with who, um, what they liked, what they disliked, if there was any requests, if there was any, um, talk about anything. Uh, that’s what, you now, we told Mr. Epstein everything and then he paid us and then we got to go home. And most of the time with me, you know, I would either…you know, I normally got taken…taken to the airport, you know…so, to go back home.
The fact that Trump has a chance to be the next president makes me feel disgusting inside. I’ve always been proud to be an American. I think we live in a beautiful country, but I just see him ruining everything. He’s a horrible…what he portrays on the outside isn’t even that great, but people don’t even know the half of how evil, how sick and twisted that man is.
I have a friend that’s been my friend ever since the school year that I stopped going, you know, the 8th grade. I confided in her and she knows all about it. She knows everything. I mean, I destroyed everything of like, you know, any plane ti…I didn’t…I couldn’t risk it, like, my dad finding out. Um, and now, I think I’m old enough to where I think…I don’t think…you know, I…at that point, I didn’t want to not be his little girl, you know. I didn’t want to lose my dad. Basically, I would never, as far as keeping proof of any of the trips and the only person…I never told my parents, you know, I…there would be no happy…you know, there’d be no good outcome of telling my parents. You know, they would have grounded me, um, I would have never been allowed out of the house, you know, my father would have come unglued. Um, I did tell a friend, my best…she’s still my best friend to this day. She knows everything. She knows it all.
I’m prepared to do whatever it takes to save…the country that I believe that we have. I know what he does behind, like closed doors, like if that’s all…I’m willing to sacrifice my life, to put our country back to in the right, like going maybe in some type of positive direction, not even…there’s no right or wrong, but a positive direction. This guy’s not going to take us anywhere positive.
You know, as far as, um, my life changing by coming out with this information, I thought long and hard about um, whether or not I should, uh, and I’ve gone back and forth, um, but I think that…I can’t…I think that the American people need to know what kind of man this person is. Um, and if my life changes because of that, then so be it, but the American people need to know what they’re dealing with.
If I had the chance to talk to Donald Trump, I would run the other way. I’m scared of him like I’ve never been scared of anything else in my entire life. I can’t…I can’t explain it to you, but I just, the fear of him even being in the next room, I have a panic…I would have…I have panic attacks.
The last encounter that I had with Donald Trump, um, Tiffany approached me about um, a rape scene that was supposed to be played out and I didn’t like…I didn’t like the sound of that at all, but um, Tiffany promised, ensured me that it wasn’t gonna be if I…if it was anything I was uncomfortable with, we could stop, um, that she would be right there and that um, it wouldn’t get out of…it wouldn’t get out of hand and that um, it was just, it was a fantasy, like it wasn’t really gonna happen. Um, and so, she…I told her that I would. Uh, she basically…I mean, Tiffany was always nice to me and she wasn’t that I felt…I trusted her, else I…you know, and I wouldn’t have always trusted her or done what she asked me to. But um, she was there and uh, he came in and I was basically tied to a bed, um, with pantyhose, uh, and he tied them and they were so tight, I couldn’t…it hurt to even like lay there. And I tried to, you know, tried to say something, I was like…and he was just, you know, shut up! And he… Shut up, bitch! You know, this is…it was basically like he was…he was being really, really rough and I understand…I don’t…I mean, it just didn’t seem like a fantasy, um, and I started to get scared and he was, you know, basically like ripping my clothes off and I was actually…I started…I got freaked out and um, I told him that I didn’t want to do this. I was, you know…I screamed over for Tiffany and she was like, Mr. Trump, she’s only…you know, she’s not…this is scaring her. And he’s like, “Oh, you shut up too.” He just turned into this animal and was like a completely different…um, completely different person. Um, it was like everyone in the room was scared of him. And uh…I was um…it was like I um…I couldn’t do anything about it. And… [clears throat] He ripped off all my clothes and he started to basically have sex with me and I was screaming because I’d never had sex before, it was my first time and Tiffany was yelling at him too, she…she was saying I was a virgin. He told us to just shut the xxxx up and just basically, took my virginity while I was crying and telling him to stop and that’s basically begging for him to just stop. And I…Tiffany was…didn’t know what else to do either. She…no one was there to help us or me. Um, and so…uh…so, after the fact, he basically finishes and it didn’t take that long, um, at all. I mean…but it was just, it felt like it was like five and a half hours, it was an eternity, like I don’t even know how long it was. But um, he was done and I was crying and Tiffny was consulting [sic] me and she was, you know, apologizing. She told me that she would never…she didn’t…she just never put me in that situation again. But uh, he comes over mad because I was crying and he said that I should be thankful that someone like Donald Trump took my virginity…he basically didn’t say took my virginity, he said, I should be glad that someone like Donald Trump popped my cherry and not some pimply little 14-year-old. And I just was like, what if I…I said, what if I get pregnant, not even talking to him, I didn’t want to talk to him. I was talking to Tiffany. And he said, “well you’ll get an abortion then, bitch” and then just walked away. Um…I asked…I went out…I told Tiffany I needed to go home. I never went back again.
I guess, um, I guess it’s for you to decide. You know, I mean, if…I don’t have any kids myself, um, because I’m afraid to have kids because who knows what kind of damage they can get into, but if you have a 13-year-old daughter, and you’re…I mean, would you be okay with the person who’s running our country doing that to your little girl? And I just…I don’t know. I just want people to know. I think that I have…I have a faith in our...in our society that we’ll make the right choice. He seemed to be taking, uh, great pleasure in like dominance and control and just the more I screamed, the more I got scared, the more he was enraged and like power…enraged with power and it was like he was just charged with, it was scary.
My experience, um, with Donald Trump, has made it to where um, I…I can’t be in a healthy relationship much less…I can’t be in a relationship without um, without my self-sabotaging it. I don’t…um, I don’t do well… I mean, I’ve been in a couple of relationships. I mean, they were never of interest to me normally, but one in particular that was a wonderful…he was a wonderful man and I completely, knowing I had…like subconsciously I couldn’t even control myself. It was like I had to get him out of my life because you know, I don’t know why, it was like anytime anyone loves me, I don’t feel worth it or you know, um, I’ve…I mean, I… I don’t even know how to explain it, like I can’t…friends I can have acquaintance that…guys that are acquaintances, but I just, you know, anytime it’s maybe someone expressed anything else besides that, I can’t…I take some type of pleasure…not some type of…I don’t take pleasure in it, but subconsciously, whether I mean to or not, sometimes I meant to, it’s like I purposely hurt their feelings, just so they’ll never talk to me again, like I make sure that it’s not ever a possibility.
Donald Trump…Donald Trump destroyed my feeling of self-worth and my self-esteem be…when it was still…like when it just bloomed. I hadn’t even had a chance to experience anything.
Um, I have only spoken to one therapist about this, just recently actually. Um, I…for a long time, I just really just tried to forget about it, just tried very hard, but I’ve been to counseling for other things, um, and I went to counseling for a previous…the previous relationship that I was sabotaging and my counselor said, something has happened to you where you are just…you need to deal with that. That’s actually what kind of was like, hmm. He knew that there was something that had happened, where I was self-sab…or sabotaging these relationships, but you know, he said that it was my responsibility to deal with it, of course.
This situation with Donald Trump has left it…just destroyed my self-esteem and it’s made it to where I feel like it’s destroyed part of my life. Um, I haven’t…the only healthy relationship I’ve completely demolished, um, and I love to choose the dysfunctional ones that I know I can just push away. Uh, he…after what happened with him, I can’t trust a man ever again. I…thinking about it just makes me sick to my stomach. So, when something so traumatic happens to someone that’s so young, you never, ever really get over it.
[00:29:10 end of recording]
